The Sandstorm Confederacy


    The Counting Game

    Share
    avatar
    ConRed

    Destroyer Award.
    Resiliance Award.
    Doom War Veteran Award.
    Posts : 618
    Join date : 2014-03-03

    Re: The Counting Game

    Post  ConRed on Wed Apr 30, 2014 10:57 am

    174

    "So. Magic. What's it all about, then? I wonder what you were after when you go into the game. It's usually something. Something specific that you think is worth taking risks for. Money. Sex. Revenge. Power. Enlightenment. Thinner thighs in thirty days. It's a long time ago for most of you, I know. Maybe you don't remember. Fuck, maybe you don't even want to. But I'll tell you something for free. At rock bottom, it's always about the same thing. It's always about entropy. The Universe is winding down. Things fall apart. The moving finger writes, and what it writes is "Tough shit." You can't get something for nothing. Like God said to Adam when he kicked him out of the garden, "Now you've got to work for a living." If there ever was a free lunch, it ended right there. So we push and we pull and we sweat. Putting in a shit-load of energy to get a little back. Third Law of Thermodynamics, right? The one we all love to hate. Cheers. But with magic, it's different. Or it could be. Case in point -- this fine old plonk. How did it get here? Grapes had to ripen. Peasants had to toil. Some plucky kid in Marks and Sparks had to zip a long the aisles with his pricing gun. Lots of effort. Lots of energy. And once it's gone, it's gone. When things fall apart -- they do not put themselves back together again. But if you ask a demon to bring you some wine -- or jiffy some up with a spell -- well, you're cheating the taxman, aren't you? It comes for free. No grapes. No peasants. No entropy. So here we all are, then. Chasing the earthly paradise. Trying to sneak back into Eden through the back door, because work is for mug punters. You stupid arrogant little shits. We're not playing fire, -- here we're playing with napalm. There's a war on and we're whoring with the enemy for pennies. Innocent people die when we fuck up. And we fuck up all the time. Oh, don't get me wrong. Eden's a nice place. I was there a few months back. Left a piece of myself buried in the ground there, for reasons I won't go into. So I can tell you, God hates our kind most especially. The cheats. The hellblazers. The collaborators. Look -- this is what Heaven has to say to the likes of us."


    _________________

    [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
    I Am Not Seeking Forgiveness.
    avatar
    shavar

    Warmonger Award.
    Resiliance Award.
    Martyrdom Award.
    Genocide Award.
    Doom War Veteran Award.
    Posts : 696
    Join date : 2014-02-03
    Age : 43
    Location : KY

    Re: The Counting Game

    Post  shavar on Wed Apr 30, 2014 10:57 pm

    ^ TLDR

    175


    _________________
    [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
    avatar
    ConRed

    Destroyer Award.
    Resiliance Award.
    Doom War Veteran Award.
    Posts : 618
    Join date : 2014-03-03

    Re: The Counting Game

    Post  ConRed on Thu May 01, 2014 10:37 am

    "My talent's for lying. For sticking the knife in when people least expect it. Then walking away with a smile and a wave before they even realize they're bleeding."

    176


    _________________

    [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
    I Am Not Seeking Forgiveness.
    avatar
    Alex0827a

    Doom War MVP Award.
    Destroyer Award.
    Victor Award.
    Doom War Veteran Award.
    Posts : 1702
    Join date : 2012-10-04
    Age : 23

    Re: The Counting Game

    Post  Alex0827a on Thu May 01, 2014 11:24 am

    177

    "Son! Why did you spill that milk?"
    "It was an accident!"
    "YOU were an accident!" bounce 
    avatar
    ConRed

    Destroyer Award.
    Resiliance Award.
    Doom War Veteran Award.
    Posts : 618
    Join date : 2014-03-03

    Re: The Counting Game

    Post  ConRed on Thu May 01, 2014 11:51 am

    178

    A man and woman fell on hard times and decided that they needed to take desperate measures in order to make money. So the man begins to rent his wife out for sexual favors, in exchange for money. After the first night, he picks her up off the corner and asks how she did. She smiles and tells him she made 240 dollars and 50 cents!

    Scoffing, the man asks her who gave her 50 cents.

    The woman replied: All of them did.


    _________________

    [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
    I Am Not Seeking Forgiveness.
    avatar
    crv24

    Posts : 88
    Join date : 2013-05-07
    Age : 23
    Location : Canada

    Re: The Counting Game

    Post  crv24 on Thu May 01, 2014 1:37 pm

    179
    avatar
    Alex0827a

    Doom War MVP Award.
    Destroyer Award.
    Victor Award.
    Doom War Veteran Award.
    Posts : 1702
    Join date : 2012-10-04
    Age : 23

    Re: The Counting Game

    Post  Alex0827a on Thu May 01, 2014 10:20 pm

    180... And a few words to go along with it (those were the words) bounce 
    avatar
    ConRed

    Destroyer Award.
    Resiliance Award.
    Doom War Veteran Award.
    Posts : 618
    Join date : 2014-03-03

    Re: The Counting Game

    Post  ConRed on Fri May 02, 2014 10:36 am

    181

    "When you tear out a mans tongue, you are not proving him a liar, you're only telling the world that you fear what he might say."


    _________________

    [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
    I Am Not Seeking Forgiveness.
    avatar
    Alex0827a

    Doom War MVP Award.
    Destroyer Award.
    Victor Award.
    Doom War Veteran Award.
    Posts : 1702
    Join date : 2012-10-04
    Age : 23

    Re: The Counting Game

    Post  Alex0827a on Fri May 02, 2014 4:08 pm

    182 "If I wanted to hear an asshole, I would've farted"  affraid 
    avatar
    crv24

    Posts : 88
    Join date : 2013-05-07
    Age : 23
    Location : Canada

    Re: The Counting Game

    Post  crv24 on Fri May 02, 2014 4:12 pm

    183
    avatar
    Alex0827a

    Doom War MVP Award.
    Destroyer Award.
    Victor Award.
    Doom War Veteran Award.
    Posts : 1702
    Join date : 2012-10-04
    Age : 23

    Re: The Counting Game

    Post  Alex0827a on Fri May 02, 2014 4:13 pm

    184
    avatar
    ConRed

    Destroyer Award.
    Resiliance Award.
    Doom War Veteran Award.
    Posts : 618
    Join date : 2014-03-03

    Re: The Counting Game

    Post  ConRed on Fri May 02, 2014 4:45 pm

    185


    _________________

    [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
    I Am Not Seeking Forgiveness.
    avatar
    shavar

    Warmonger Award.
    Resiliance Award.
    Martyrdom Award.
    Genocide Award.
    Doom War Veteran Award.
    Posts : 696
    Join date : 2014-02-03
    Age : 43
    Location : KY

    Re: The Counting Game

    Post  shavar on Fri May 02, 2014 8:16 pm

    186  

    Making a speech against the proliferation of X-rated videocassettes, the mayoral candidate said, "I rented one of these cassettes and was shocked to find by my count five acts of oral sex, three of sodomy, a transsexual making love to a dog, and a woman accommodating five men at once. If elected, I vow that tapes such as these will no longer befoul our fair community." He concluded the fiery denunciation by asking, "Are there any questions?" 

    Five people shouted in unison, "Where did you rent the tape?"


    _________________
    [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
    avatar
    Alex0827a

    Doom War MVP Award.
    Destroyer Award.
    Victor Award.
    Doom War Veteran Award.
    Posts : 1702
    Join date : 2012-10-04
    Age : 23

    Re: The Counting Game

    Post  Alex0827a on Sat May 03, 2014 1:59 am

    187
    avatar
    veracity

    Shit Starter Award.
    Doom War Veteran Award.
    Posts : 293
    Join date : 2013-01-23
    Location : planet bob

    Re: The Counting Game

    Post  veracity on Sat May 03, 2014 2:30 am

    188
    And it was my tape! !!
    avatar
    White Chocolate

    Posts : 124
    Join date : 2014-04-22

    Re: The Counting Game

    Post  White Chocolate on Sun May 04, 2014 5:25 pm

    189

    "Why change? Everyone has his own style. When you have found it, you should stick to it." - Audrey Hepburn
    avatar
    shavar

    Warmonger Award.
    Resiliance Award.
    Martyrdom Award.
    Genocide Award.
    Doom War Veteran Award.
    Posts : 696
    Join date : 2014-02-03
    Age : 43
    Location : KY

    Re: The Counting Game

    Post  shavar on Sun May 04, 2014 6:27 pm

    190

     Bill Clinton took a jog near his new home in Chappaqua. And on each run, he happened to jog past a hooker standing on the same street corner, day after day. Apprehensive, he would brace himself as he approached her for what was (most certainly) about to follow. "Fifty dollars! ", she would shout from the curb. 

    "No. Five dollars!" , fired back Clinton. This ritual between the ex-prez and the hooker continued for several days. He'd run by. She'd holler, "Fifty dollars" He'd yell back, "Five dollars! " 

    One day, Hillary decided that she wanted to accompany her husband on his jog. As the jogging couple neared the now infamous street corner, Bill suddenly realized the "pro" would bark her $50 offer for all to hear (including Hillary) and he would have to come up with a darn good explanation for his wife, the junior Senator. 

    As they jogged into the turn that would take them past her, Bill became overcome with anxiety on how to handle the situation. Sure enough, there she was -- standing where she always did. Bill tried to evade the streetwalker's eyes as she looked up at the jogging executives. 

    Then from the sidewalk, she yelled to Bill . . . "See what you get for five bucks?"


    _________________
    [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
    avatar
    ConRed

    Destroyer Award.
    Resiliance Award.
    Doom War Veteran Award.
    Posts : 618
    Join date : 2014-03-03

    Re: The Counting Game

    Post  ConRed on Mon May 05, 2014 10:21 am

    191

    I loved that clinton one


    _________________

    [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
    I Am Not Seeking Forgiveness.
    avatar
    Alex0827a

    Doom War MVP Award.
    Destroyer Award.
    Victor Award.
    Doom War Veteran Award.
    Posts : 1702
    Join date : 2012-10-04
    Age : 23

    Re: The Counting Game

    Post  Alex0827a on Mon May 05, 2014 4:25 pm

    192 "Hey man, I like totally did NOT screw her brains out, I promise!"
    avatar
    shavar

    Warmonger Award.
    Resiliance Award.
    Martyrdom Award.
    Genocide Award.
    Doom War Veteran Award.
    Posts : 696
    Join date : 2014-02-03
    Age : 43
    Location : KY

    Re: The Counting Game

    Post  shavar on Mon May 05, 2014 8:37 pm

    193


    _________________
    [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
    avatar
    Alex0827a

    Doom War MVP Award.
    Destroyer Award.
    Victor Award.
    Doom War Veteran Award.
    Posts : 1702
    Join date : 2012-10-04
    Age : 23

    Re: The Counting Game

    Post  Alex0827a on Mon May 05, 2014 10:23 pm

    194
    avatar
    ConRed

    Destroyer Award.
    Resiliance Award.
    Doom War Veteran Award.
    Posts : 618
    Join date : 2014-03-03

    Re: The Counting Game

    Post  ConRed on Tue May 06, 2014 10:02 am

    195

    I did not have sexual relations with that woman. But I am wearing her underwear.


    _________________

    [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
    I Am Not Seeking Forgiveness.
    avatar
    Alex0827a

    Doom War MVP Award.
    Destroyer Award.
    Victor Award.
    Doom War Veteran Award.
    Posts : 1702
    Join date : 2012-10-04
    Age : 23

    Re: The Counting Game

    Post  Alex0827a on Tue May 06, 2014 10:35 am

    196

    I once went to a speed dating thing, where this girl asked me what I liked. She was ugly, so I said penis. And, well, she had one Crying or Very sad 
    avatar
    ConRed

    Destroyer Award.
    Resiliance Award.
    Doom War Veteran Award.
    Posts : 618
    Join date : 2014-03-03

    Re: The Counting Game

    Post  ConRed on Tue May 06, 2014 10:40 am

    I had a cross dresser hit on me once. I wasn't sure if I should be afraid or flattered.

    197


    _________________

    [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
    I Am Not Seeking Forgiveness.
    avatar
    Alex0827a

    Doom War MVP Award.
    Destroyer Award.
    Victor Award.
    Doom War Veteran Award.
    Posts : 1702
    Join date : 2012-10-04
    Age : 23

    Re: The Counting Game

    Post  Alex0827a on Tue May 06, 2014 12:44 pm

    198

    Sponsored content

    Re: The Counting Game

    Post  Sponsored content


      Current date/time is Mon Aug 21, 2017 10:50 am